A Question of Taste

“What did you think of the concert?” our music professor asked Barb, Joel, Tom and me as we exited Oller Hall auditorium. We were four of the seven music majors at our small college. No one wanted to display their ignorance by saying something dumb, so we all turned to the person next to us. “As musicians, people will look to you in the future regarding music. You need to have educated opinions and be able to back them up,” said our professor.

I recalled this incident many times over the years, working as a therapist, an artist, a musician, a writer and a storyteller. I have opinions about the arts, our culture, the world, politics and lots of other things. Walking with Dan, I may point out how a person would look better if their hair were worn differently. I find myself doing the same thing with peoples’ dress, the colors they paint their homes, and even landscaping. As a former portrait and landscape painter, I studied what makes shapes pleasing. Don’t get me started on today’s Pop music; I was a Nashville songwriter for eight years. I have lots to say about the way people write and tell first person stories too.

One of my super senses is smell and it has made me an extremely picky eater. I can tell everyone what’s in their sauces at a good restaurant. I could have worked as a wine or coffee taster. This superpower has made me a pretty good cook…and a highly critical diner. Having a grandmother who was a professional seamstress taught me about “good” and “bad” material. Most of the clothes sold at big-box stores look cheaply made and badly designed. 

In other words, I have not just developed opinions; I am a taste chauvinist. 

When I am back home in New York I blend right in. New Yorkers have opinions on everything and they’re not shy about sharing them with each other, with strangers, on bathroom walls…When everyone around you is outre, no one sticks out.

Living in New England is a different experience altogether. People play their cards close to their vests. With all the colleges in the Boston area, you can bet people up here have just as many opinions as New Yorkers; but they are more prudent about broadcasting them. The old Puritan ethics still influence behavior. The saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” originated with English writer, Charles Caleb Colton. While Colton was born in 1782, far after the Puritans’ era, his saying still holds true in New England. He would have made a terrible critic.

There is a fine line between having an opinion about things in one’s sphere and being a judgmental know-it-all. I fear I have often crossed that line. To those of you who have experienced this with me first-hand, I say, “Mea Culpa.” 

I hope more Americans, especially Millennials and Gen Zs, will take my professor’s advice: “You need to have educated opinions and be able to back them up.” But heed one more tip from Charles Caleb Coulton, as well: “Men are born with two eyes, but with one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say."